Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
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