Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
