so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
Randomize
