is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
I'm too high and old for this...
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
Randomize
