New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
Randomize