I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Randomize
