They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
Randomize
