Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
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