my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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