I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
Randomize
