i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
Randomize
