I love black thongs
yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
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