Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
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