haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
Randomize
