Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Randomize
