can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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