If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
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