just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Randomize