Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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