are you wasted or are you getting laid?
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wow
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
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