I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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