If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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