i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Randomize
