I need help removing her.
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize