69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
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