The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
this just has baby written all over it
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
