Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
Randomize
