Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
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