Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize