please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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