Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
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