I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
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