I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize