she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
I just want to make out with him forever
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
