i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
Randomize
