yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
Randomize
