He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
Randomize
