He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
Randomize
