i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
