singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
Randomize
