the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
Randomize
