Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
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