Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
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