very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
Randomize
