and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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