I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Randomize