i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
