I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
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