Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Randomize
