she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
