Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
I touched a dick in church today
Randomize
