Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
i need an iv and a liver transplant
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
Randomize
