We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Randomize
