He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
