I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
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