I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
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