you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
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