i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
So much Jack, so little girl.
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
Randomize
