meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
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