He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
Randomize
