You can't special order awesome
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
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