It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
Randomize
