At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
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