Grow some girl-balls and come out already
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
