What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
Randomize
