i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
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