I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
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