Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
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