I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
It's shark week go big or go home
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
Randomize
