And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
Randomize
