The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
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