quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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